I have three children. It is a juggling act every day. That is because I want to treat each of them in the same way, and offer them the same amount of quality time. For who says time, says love.
My eldest was once an only child. That lasted three long years and a half. I divided my love and time between him and my husband. He received undivided attention and quasi total devotion. We were together almost 24/7 before I delegated some of my attention giving and educating to a babysitter and educators.
I can safely say that it is easier to have two children than one. The single child now realizes that his mother is busier and he grows independent. I once wondered how I could give the equivalent time and attention my first born received to my second child. A cousin of mine, now a mother of three gave me the magical recipe: when you read to your older kid, put the baby in your arms and read on, babies like the sound of your voice and the colorful pictures of the book.
My second child joined me everywhere I went! She wasn't a nursery baby in the least. She was car-seated and attached in the bjorn carrier, and strollered almost everywhere we went. She napped on the go, was breast fed during her brother's riding, golf or swimming lessons. She was always outdoors, accompanying her parents to art galleries and coffee breaks.
And when baby number three came, he did the same. At that point the two toddlers were double strollered in Geneva through long forest strolls to pick their brother up from soccer and for walks along the lake to get to his sailing regattas. I often dragged all three to the supermarket with the belief that you have more fun and learning at Carrefour than you ever could have at Kidzania!
Quality time is what I worked on, making sure each individual child got the same dose of love, one on one time, attention and play as his sibling. I may sound like I am a devoted golf/swimming mom but I also am a ballet mom! I play the par3 golf with my daughter once a week and take my youngest alone to the beach weekly while his sister plays the violin or dances.
Tiger mom I have perhaps been labeled but my children get their dose of fun: theme packed birthdays, mid-week beach stops, outings with their friends at the cinema depending on their age group,and frequent sleepovers with their friends.
Boy or girl, middle child or younger, teenager or toddler, none of the kids will ever sincerely be able to accuse me of: "mama, its not fair!" They truly all get equal treatment.
Generations adjust to family numbers,in that my grandmother had 12 children and I had five siblings, while my four children will average two to three kids each at best.Does that mean that attention has to be fractioned or the times are different where the requirements of children differ?ReplyDelete
The Pink Taxi blogger who should change her blog name to the Tiger Mom taking after the famous Chinese lady who plugs her kids from their beds early mornings and doesnot stop until they crash again into bed at the end of a long day.
Equal treatment should also be equal treatment from the mother AND the father! Children need their father's time and attention as much as their mother's.ReplyDelete