My grandmother, mother of ten, often says after her cat nap: "I layed down and closed my eyes". I didn't understand Teta Mommy till I had my own kids and appreciated any down time. It is ideal to nap but closing your eyes in a reclined position almost has the same benefits.
I thought relaxing could only happen when I wasn't "in activity" or "at work"; work meaning "caring for my children". I now realize that I must also relax while at "work" otherwise I will fatigue fast enough. Intensity won't get me anywhere. Doesn't my lifestyle require endurance?
Just yesterday, my son's swimming went over-time 20 minutes because he was accomplishing his own record length: 2 kilometers or 80 single laps of the pool. That got me late for my kids' bath time and further for the art opening. I must not allow 20 minutes to push me off schedule. Doing less to have room for the unpredictable is a must.
Perhaps I should write less on the blog, suggest my relatives. Finding time to blog is not a challenge: it is done in those spare moments, always in between moments. Those moments accumulate into an entry. Perhaps it eats up from my LeMonde reading, thrusting me 2 days back every day that passes.
I have learned a few time management tips that promote a feeling of accomplishment as well as serenity.
Never to be late. Go to your destination early and while waiting you can do another task. I always arrive early to school in the morning with my kids, they stroll rather than rush to the school gate. I also go very early to pick them up so I find good parking to minimize their walk to the car and I can always read or blog.
Make time for time consuming activities: if golf is played very early or very late, its time well found. This is a riddle: how can my kid's trainer and Olympics candidate swim 8 times a week and still manage to rest one day a week? The answer is "she makes time" and trains twice a day twice a week without counting teaching hours.
A good friend of mine scolded me for using the common expression "to kill time". He said time is too sacred to be killed. Saving time and enjoying time are more appropriate. I have never said it again.
The exhaustion one feels as a mother, is different from any other fatigue. The most trying time for me is the newborn stage, those first 3 months, when night and day are mixed, and naps are literally a means to an end: to maintain sanity!
ReplyDeleteThen, the exhaustion comes from teaching, playing with, bathing, dressing, feeding, dropping off, picking up, running after, timing out (we don't spank in our parenting generation :)!), celebrating our child (lots of good jobs and positive reinforcement), food shopping, cooking meals, many of which we need to offer different variations of for the picky kids in the family.
For this reason, I have enforced sleep training as the only method viable in our household by 3 months. Also, 7 pm bedtime and when I am lucky 7 am wake up (easier when I only had one kid--the tendency is moving toward 6:30 am). But this gives me a break from my day job, a necessary respite for both parents and children.
Also, carving out time to exercise, spend quality time with your husband, with friends and family, and especially some clear cut adult time is so important. I carry with me my book wherever I go, as it is my escape between errands and kid activities.
But the truth is there is no other job I would prefer to have.....I love being a mother!
Being a mother is a tough job and I think it is much more difficult for those stay at home mom's rather than the ones that work, like me. When I come home from work I spend quality time with my girls from the second I'm home until the second they sleep. In fact, I multi task to an extent that even I am surprised. You will often find me in the kitchen feeding the kids while cooking dinner and getting ready for a nights entertainment if I have people over. Its all in the planning and delegating and I don't beat myself up if I don't have the time to do one thing or another. You're a mother! Its a decision that you made knowing that for the first few years, priorities go right out the window. My dear blogger, you need to give yourself a break...give yourself time to enjoy life instead of just shuttling through it. Revel in the wonder that your son just swam 80 laps instead of worrying how much off target you will be for your next activity. These moments are fleeting so enjoy being with your kids, regardless of their activies, as much as the kids enjoy being with you!
ReplyDeleteKeep it flowing,your blog has become addictive material to all of us who visit you virtually,and share your treasured moments.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that we cannot keep up with your postings,yet we will make time for it because it is our mental nourishment,to remind us how beautiful life is!!